Every Thanksgiving, Rush Limbaugh would deliver his legendary “True Story of Thanksgiving” monologue, reminding millions that the Pilgrims’ first two winters in Plymouth were a near-death disaster because Governor William Bradford had initially organized the colony on communal principles. Crops were planted collectively, food was shared equally, and the result was laziness, starvation, and resentment. In 1623, Bradford finally did what any clear-eyed leader would do: he assigned each family their own plot of land, kept the fruits of their labor, and let them trade freely. Production exploded, surpluses appeared, and the colony thrived. That first real harvest feast in 1623 wasn’t just gratitude to God; it was a celebration of private property, free enterprise, and voluntary exchange with their Indian trading partners. As Rush put it, “Thanksgiving proves socialism has never worked, not even once, not even with Pilgrims.”

Then, with perfect comic timing, Rush would pivot to a personal Thanksgiving story that exposed the fragility of the modern liberal mind. At a family gathering, the host decided to conduct a blind taste test of iced teas. One was Rush’s own Two If By Tea brand, but nobody knew. When the votes were tallied, Two If By Tea won hands-down—until the host gleefully revealed the winner. Suddenly, half the table erupted in outrage: “You made us drink Rush Limbaugh’s tea?!” People actually pushed their glasses away, some nearly gagging, as if the liquid had magically turned to poison the moment politics was mentioned. The mood soured so fast that the host had to scramble to salvage the holiday. Rush laughed that the same people who had just declared it the best tea they’d ever tasted were now willing to ruin Thanksgiving over a label.

That contrast was Rush’s point in a nutshell: the Pilgrims rejected collectivism, embraced freedom, and gave thanks for abundance; today’s progressives will reject literal sweetness and light the moment they discover it came from the “wrong” source. One group built a thriving civilization out of gratitude and hard work; the other nearly turned a family dinner into a food fight because ideology trumps taste—even on Thanksgiving. As Rush signed off every year: “May your Thanksgiving be filled with God, family, football, and the understanding that free enterprise is why we have anything to be thankful for at all.”