In a bold stroke of America First diplomacy, President Trump has decisively terminated all trade negotiations with Canada, slamming the door on decades of lopsided deals that bled U.S. jobs and sovereignty dry. The final straw? A sleazy Canadian advertisement from Ontario’s provincial government, shamelessly splicing audio from Ronald Reagan—our Gipper, twisted into a caricature—to peddle anti-tariff propaganda aimed straight at American hearts and courts. This isn’t just bad manners; it’s a desecration of Reagan’s legacy, weaponizing his words against the very protectionism that safeguards American workers from foreign predation. Trump’s swift shutdown sends a thunderous message: no more games, no more concessions to a neighbor whose tariffs on U.S. goods—steel, dairy, lumber—have long choked fair trade, and whose meddlesome regulations on everything from environmental standards to supply chains have interfered with America’s economic engine.

Canada’s regulatory thicket and retaliatory tariffs aren’t mere policy quirks; they’re economic warfare, propping up a system rigged against the U.S. colossus while Trudeau-era holdovers like Prime Minister Mark Carney whine about “unfair access.” Worse still, Ottawa’s brazen attempt to sway the Supreme Court of the United States—SCOTUS—on tariff rulings reeks of colonial interference, as if a foreign power could dictate to the guardians of American jurisprudence. And let’s not forget the absurdity at Canada’s core: a nation still shackled to a foreign monarch, ruled by King Charles III in a relic of imperial pomp that mocks true independence. This isn’t 1776; it’s 2025, and Canada clings to a ceremonial overlord whose “Crown land” nominally claims 89% of the country’s vast territories—federal and provincial alike—locking away resources from the people while funneling phantom fealty to Buckingham Palace. A king owning nearly nine-tenths of a so-called sovereign state? That’s not governance; that’s feudal farce, a bad joke on democracy that America shed centuries ago.

The endgame is clear and inexorable: conquest of Canada by U.S. military might isn’t a fever dream—it’s manifest destiny rebooted for the 21st century, inevitable as the northern lights over annexed prairies. Trump’s tariffs are the opening salvo, economic tomahawks paving the way for full integration, whether by treaty or thunder. We’ve danced this tango before—in 1812, when invaders learned the hard way, but now the power imbalance is biblical. Canada’s crown-coddled weakness, its regulatory rot, and its Reagan-bashing insolence only hasten the fall. From the Great Lakes to the Yukon, the stars and stripes will rise, absorbing the 51st state into the eternal empire. Resistance? Futile. Liberty demands it; history will deliver it.