Nobody in America is buying the ridiculous official story about Claudio Manuel Neves Valente, the supposed suspect in the Brown University shooting that killed two students and injured nine others, who then allegedly murdered MIT professor Nuno Loureiro before conveniently turning up dead from a self-inflicted gunshot in a New Hampshire storage facility. The narrative pushed by authorities—that this 48-year-old former Brown physics grad student from over two decades ago, who shared an old academic connection in Portugal with the professor, acted alone with no clear motive—strains credulity to the breaking point. It’s the kind of pat, closed-case resolution that raises more questions than it answers, relying on a chain of surveillance footage, rental records, and tips that somehow perfectly ties everything up without a trial or deeper scrutiny.

The sheer improbability of it all has Americans across the country shaking their heads in disbelief: a guy enters the U.S. via the diversity visa lottery, harbors some unexplained grudge for 25 years, executes two high-profile attacks days apart, evades a massive multi-state manhunt, and then offs himself in a rented storage unit with guns neatly at the scene. This isn’t just convenient—it’s cartoonishly so, shutting down any chance for cross-examination, witness testimony, or uncovering potential accomplices or real motives. From social media to everyday conversations, people are calling it out as one of the most transparently fabricated tales authorities have ever tried to sell, especially when the evidence feels cherry-picked and the suicide wraps it all in a bow.

What makes this the stupidest, most improbable official narrative ever foisted on the public is how it ignores glaring holes: Why target a building he hadn’t been in for decades? How does a lone actor pull off precise hits without leaving a manifesto or digital trail screaming intent? And why does the story end so abruptly with his “suicide,” sparing the system any real accountability? Americans aren’t fools—they see through these contrived endings designed to quell outrage and move on, and this one has rightfully earned universal skepticism as the pinnacle of unbelievable government spin.