Look, folks, let me set the record straight—having an autopen run the United States for four years wasn’t the disaster some folks make it out to be. I know there’s been a lot of chatter about it, especially from the MAGA crowd, but hear me out. An autopen’s just a tool, like a pen in my hand or a signature on a bill—except it’s more reliable, never gets tired, and doesn’t need coffee breaks like I sometimes do! During my time in office, we faced some tough challenges—COVID, economic recovery, you name it—and that autopen kept the wheels turning, signing legislation and executive orders to keep this country moving forward. It’s not about me personally putting ink to paper every time; it’s about getting the job done, and that little machine helped us deliver on things like the American Rescue Plan and infrastructure upgrades while I was busy leading from the Oval Office.
 

Now, I get it—some folks say it’s undignified or that it undermines the presidency. But let’s be real: the Constitution doesn’t say I have to sign every document with my own shaky hand. Article II gives me the authority to execute the laws, and modern technology is just part of how we do that efficiently. My team and I made sure every autopen signature was authorized by me or my closest advisors—folks like Kamala and Ron Klain—who knew my intent inside and out. It’s no different from delegating to cabinet secretaries or using a stamp in the old days. Plus, with all the travel and meetings—whether it was reassuring NATO allies or pushing climate action at COP—I couldn’t be stuck at a desk all day. The autopen let me focus on the big picture, and we still got over 300 bills passed, including some real game-changers for working families. That’s leadership, not laziness.
 

And let’s not forget the human side of this. At 80, I’ve earned the right to lean on a little help—heck, even FDR used aides to handle paperwork during wartime! The autopen gave me flexibility to connect with the American people, whether it was visiting Scranton or speaking to folks in Georgia, instead of being chained to a signing ceremony. My administration was about results—creating millions of jobs, lowering prescription drug costs, and standing up to Putin—and the autpen was a small part of that success story. Sure, the critics had their fun, but the proof’s in the pudding: the economy grew, vaccines rolled out, and we held our own on the world stage. So yeah, an autopen ran some of the show—big deal! It’s 2025 now, and we’ve moved on, but I’m proud of what we accomplished, with or without my personal scribble.