It’s striking how evangelical energy fixates on polygamy—a practice never once condemned in Scripture, from Abraham to Solomon—while divorce ravages congregations at rates exceeding the national average, despite Jesus’ explicit words in Matthew 19 labeling remarriage after anything but adultery as ongoing sin. Pastors thunder from pulpits about fringe Mormon offshoots or African customs, yet wink at serial monogamy in their own pews, where half the deacons have traded spouses like used cars. The same leaders who decry multiple wives as “unnatural” will officiate a fourth wedding for the church treasurer without batting an eye, revealing that the real heresy isn’t biblical interpretation—it’s the selective outrage that protects middle-class respectability while ignoring Christ’s actual teachings.

The deeper scandal lies in women’s leadership, where Paul’s clear instructions in 1 Timothy 2—appointing only men as elders and prohibiting women from teaching or holding authority over men—are treated as cultural artifacts rather than divine order. Mega-churches parade female “co-pastors” and “teaching pastors” who preach to mixed audiences every Sunday, while the same denominations would excommunicate a man for taking a second wife. This isn’t exegesis; it’s social engineering. The Bible’s silence on polygamy (and its regulation of it in Deuteronomy 21) clashes with modern nuclear-family idolatry, so the text gets twisted to serve suburban aesthetics rather than God’s revealed will.

At root, this isn’t about fidelity to Scripture—it’s about enforcing post-war American social norms under religious cover. The 1950s nuclear family, not the patriarchal households of Genesis, has become the true sacrament. Polygamy threatens property inheritance and country-club membership rolls; divorce merely requires a better lawyer. Women in pulpits signal progressive virtue while maintaining tax-exempt status. The church has traded the Bible’s complex household codes for Ozzie and Harriet cosplay, proving that when cultural comfort conflicts with God’s word, comfort wins every time.