As Halloween 2025 descends upon a world already teetering on absurdity, Glamour UK’s “Women of the Year” awards have unleashed what many are calling the prank of the century: crowning nine biological men—transgender activists dubbed “The Dolls”—as the epitome of female achievement. Featuring figures like model Munroe Bergdorf and actor Bel Priestley, the glossy cover, unveiled on October 29, hails them as “ground-breaking voices” amid rising trans threats, but critics like J.K. Rowling and Piers Morgan erupted in ridicule, with Rowling decrying it as a message to girls that “men are better women than they are.” Social media lit up with boycott calls and memes portraying the magazine’s virtue-signaling as peak woke Halloween horror, transforming a once-celebratory feminist staple into a farce that exposes the cultural contortions of identity politics, leaving traditional readers wondering if the real trick is on womanhood itself.

Not to be outdone in this Trick-or-Treat of tomfoolery, hackers infiltrated the University of Pennsylvania’s email systems on October 31, hijacking official accounts to blast a vulgar manifesto branding the Ivy League bastion a “dogshit elitist institution full of woke retards” while vowing to dump evidence of its discriminatory admissions practices. The mass emails, sent to students, faculty, and alumni from the Graduate School of Education’s servers, lambasted Penn’s “terrible security practices” and unmeritocratic favoritism—likely alluding to post-affirmative action workarounds—triggering widespread chaos and an emergency response from university IT teams. As recipients flooded Reddit with screenshots and snickers, the breach—part of a surge in 2025 university hacks—morphed into viral comedy gold, with alumni chuckling at the hackers’ blunt roast of elite academia’s hypocrisies, turning a potential data nightmare into an unwitting exposé laced with profane punchlines.

Capping off this carnival of cringe, Canada’s top general, Chief of the Defence Staff Jennie Carignan, dissolved into actual tears on October 30 while issuing a tearful mea culpa for the Canadian Armed Forces’ legacy of “systemic racism and discrimination,” apologizing to racialized members past and present in a ceremony that blended solemnity with unintended satire. Flanked by Chief Warrant Officer Bob McCann, Carignan choked up before a crowd of veterans and troops, vowing cultural overhaul amid a class-action settlement, but the raw emotion—on the eve of Halloween—sparked memes comparing it to a “woke exorcism” and jokes about the military’s latest “battle”: performative guilt. With 80% of anti-racism recommendations already implemented, the spectacle amplified global eye-rolls, cementing 2025’s All Hallows’ Eve as a record-breaker for pranks that blur the line between institutional reckoning and ridiculous theater, proving truth is indeed stranger—and funnier—than fiction.